Guide:Three rules for how-tos
Three common mistakes I've seen people make (including myself). here presented for the amusement and education of the masses. I have seen these most commonly done with Space Marines, loyal and Traitor, but I hope that these suggestions can be easily applied to all sorts of groups and characters. Jochannon 21:17, November 30, 2010 (UTC) The Hive Fleet Effect The Hive Fleet Effect is the tendency people have of trying to show how tough our characters, warbands and chapters are by comparing them to incomparable characters and challenges, inflating their accomplishments to ridiculous proportions. An Example Vengful Liberation 'Even some Khorne Berserkers have flinched in surprise at the orgy of violence that ensues whenever Liberation forces make a show on the battle grounds.' How to avoid this Effect Firstly, do not use phrases like '. . .even X was amazed by. . .' or '. . .it appalled even X. . .' Secondly, remember that it is a BIG galaxy. VERY BIG. There is plenty of room to be mighty, or villainous, or brave, without bumping into anyone else. For example, the above example could be rewritten as whenever Liberation forces make a show on the battle grounds, they cause a terrible orgy of violence. So okay, I didn't rewrite it very well, but at least now it's canon-friendly. I mean, come on! Berzerkers of Khorne 'flinching' at an orgy of violence? Including Canon Characters That's not to say that you cannot include canon characters in your articles: the key to avoiding the Hive Fleet Effect is understatement. For a positive example, I bring up Aheramas, by Legionairre 22: 'He was once confronted by the blood angels chapter master Dante, who he fought for three days before he was recalled. When he teleported away it is said that his roar of rage could be heard in the warp.' Note the lack of phrases like 'the mighty battle raged back and forth-' or 'just as Aheramas was about to overcome Dante, he was teleported away.' Dante is a Chapter Master; he is one of the mightiest warriors in the galaxy: any single combat against him is by definition epic. Legionarre22 has done a wonderful job of making it perfectly clear that Aheramas is one bad mother, while entirely avoiding pointless embellishment. The Crybaby Effect Yes, the universe of Warhammer 40,000 is an unjust one, where bad things happen to good people. A lot of people take this theme to the point where they stop talking about their group or character entirely, and are just complaining about others. An Example Star Lords 'The Inquisition and the Ecclesiarchy view the Chapter as heretics, though this could be due to personal interests involving power rather then religion. This is because more often than not the Inquisition and Ecclesiarchy are tyrannical overlords concerned only with their own interests and power and often use their faith and power to get what they want, rather than truly serving the God-Emperor.' The Crybaby Effect is not about facts; it is about the style of writing. Basically, this is saying 'the Inquisition and Ecclesiarchy are bad people.' But where is the spirit? Where is the fire? Where is the defiance? Where is The Star Lords have declared to all the Imperium that the Inquisition and Ecclesiarchy are tyrannical overlords concerned only with their own interests and power, and have sworn one and all to fight to the death to see the Emperor's true vision come to pass? Because without that fire it is just a complaint. How to avoid this Effect The way to avoid this effect is to write about your group. 'Oh sure,' you say, 'weren't we doing that already?' That paragraph above, is about the Inquisition and Ecclesiarchy, not the Star Lords. For instance, it could be written something like this: 'The Star Lords have been hounded by the Inquisition and the Ecclesiarchy, bent more on protecting their interests than religion. The Star Lords have declared to all that the Inquisition and Ecclesiarchy are tyrannical overlords concerned only with their own interests and power, rather than truly serving the God-Emperor.' Then of course, you could always not put your people in that position in the first place. The Nice Effect There are many writers who make their Space Marine Marine Chapters, or Eldar Renegades or whatever, into nice people, who accept others for what they are, who are not superstitious about technology, and are friendly to people of other races because they know that they are all alike on the inside. This is very similar to the Hive Fleet Effect(above), but all too often, they wind up with a group of Mary Sues. Some Examples Star Lords The Chapter believes in upholding a series of creeds which the Imperium was supposedly built on in the Emperor's vision, before becoming corrupted by the Horus Heresy and the following events, as a result they are more kindly, accepting, tolerating and show greater faith faith and humility than most Imperial organisations. Black Hornets '. . .are noted for being less contemptuous of unaugmented humans than some other Astartes; this, more than anything, has given them a reptation as dependable allies to regular Imperial forces.' How to avoid this Effect Do not put it in context: yes, it seems a little counter-intuitive, but just describe them, stand-alone. Instead of the above, try saying: they are kindly, and accepting, and tolerant of differences, and show great faith and humility Or: . . .hold their unaugmented allies in great esteem; this, more than anything, has given them a reputation as dependable allies to regular Imperial forces. Or, you can simply make them cold-hearted bastards A few other simple tips Do some damn research! If you're making a Space Marines chapter, actually look up how a chapter is made! Have someone else look at your work, and help you keep it canon-friendly and sensible.